It's no secret to the people nearest and dearest to me that I must, in order to pay the grocery and orthodontic bill, write stories about the interior design of model homes and condo suites. Occasionally, a truly spectacular building -- low rise home, or condo project -- will come along. But for the most part, these are dreary creations, often with gratuitous embellisments meant to make the place look pretty. That's the architecture.
And then there's the interior design. If you can call it that. The subdivision homes are the worst by far. They have endless hallways and staircases, which consume about a third of the square footage, and then there are the double height ceilings in the formal living room.
I can't, of course, slam this stuff, because I'd never write again in this town. But you can't imagine what I'm thinking while waxing cheesy poetic from my keyboard.
Today, for example, I had to extol the virtues of very high end spa baths and gourmand kitchens. First of all, nobody has the time to luxuriate in that spa, nor to rustle up delicious vittles in that fancy kitchen with its two wall ovens, two sinks (one for washing lettuce!) and stainless steel fridge with glass doors -- only neatniks need apply, since every fingerprint shows up here.
Secondly, how much more retreating from the public sphere are we going to do? At least if you belong to a gym and go to the spa, there's a communal sense to it. You can even take a friend along. But can you imagine inviting a friend to join you in your bathroom, no matter how nice it is?
If you play out the scenario, there you are in terrycloth robes lounging away, perhaps even leaning up against the bidet or the commode. For heaven's sakes, who can relax, up close and personal, next to the "seat" of ablutions?
Most of the women I know are so busy that they take those precious few moments of their uninterrupted shower time to scrub out the tub. Like me, they've even got the sequence of rituals down to such a fine art so that they can shave a leg with one hand, while squeegeeing the walls with the other, as they wait for the conditioner to set. The only quandry is whether to wash it all off before hauling out the industrial size Vim or after. The advantage of the latter is that they can scrub the tub bottom with the soles of their feet slathered with Ajax cleanser -- and so save the high price of a pedicure and pumice stone treatment.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Happy Holidays
Lately, I've been wondering if I even know what it means to be joyful. The past two weeks I've been off from work, and the kids and I have been supposedly doing holiday things. What I'd envisioned as a lark -- merrily off to enjoy the sights, smells, food, and events of summer -- has turned into hours upon hours of them watching TV or playing video games, while I've tried to corral the mess in the house. Them going to bed later and later every day, while DH and I struggle with lack of sleep. And the endless bickering! Arguing over who has a millimeter more of cream cheese on their bagel.
Mark Gaskill author of Systemic Parenting says that problems with kids indicates a larger problem with the family as a unit. So what does that say about our family? Probably that we're stressed, and trying to do too much.
As the summer winds down and school is about to start -- and we haven't even gone on our away vacation yet -- I find myself writing more and more to-do lists. All those things that were on the summer to-do list have been pushed on to fall.
And what a list it is!
What kind of drug was I on that deluded me into thinking I could paint the living room, hallway, all the wood trim up and down, replan the garden, add a bit onto the deck, take the kids to myriad fun summer activities, write model suite stories for the paper, AND finish the book manuscript????
I think a big part of it is we are living way too much in our heads -- that everlasting to-do list and the miscalculation of how much time it takes to complete.
The pope just came out with a declaration against too much busyness and his conclusions are spot on -- too much activity, leads to distraction and hardness of heart. Barbara Killinger says much the same in her book on workaholics -- that the drug of work can render you numb to feelings.
What's the alternative? Drop everything? Do nothing? Go fishing?
Paring back is important -- in fact, today we are not heading out to Ontario Place, but instead staying home, getting ready for our trip and walking down to the lake and dipping in our toes.
Paring back though has to be accompanied by a new perception of all that we do. Yesterday's Christian quote of the day had this pithy quotation which applies:
There is no one in the world who cannot arrive without
difficulty at the most eminent perfection by fulfilling with
love the obscure and common duties.
... J. P. de Caussade (1675-1751)
Mark Gaskill author of Systemic Parenting says that problems with kids indicates a larger problem with the family as a unit. So what does that say about our family? Probably that we're stressed, and trying to do too much.
As the summer winds down and school is about to start -- and we haven't even gone on our away vacation yet -- I find myself writing more and more to-do lists. All those things that were on the summer to-do list have been pushed on to fall.
And what a list it is!
What kind of drug was I on that deluded me into thinking I could paint the living room, hallway, all the wood trim up and down, replan the garden, add a bit onto the deck, take the kids to myriad fun summer activities, write model suite stories for the paper, AND finish the book manuscript????
I think a big part of it is we are living way too much in our heads -- that everlasting to-do list and the miscalculation of how much time it takes to complete.
The pope just came out with a declaration against too much busyness and his conclusions are spot on -- too much activity, leads to distraction and hardness of heart. Barbara Killinger says much the same in her book on workaholics -- that the drug of work can render you numb to feelings.
What's the alternative? Drop everything? Do nothing? Go fishing?
Paring back is important -- in fact, today we are not heading out to Ontario Place, but instead staying home, getting ready for our trip and walking down to the lake and dipping in our toes.
Paring back though has to be accompanied by a new perception of all that we do. Yesterday's Christian quote of the day had this pithy quotation which applies:
There is no one in the world who cannot arrive without
difficulty at the most eminent perfection by fulfilling with
love the obscure and common duties.
... J. P. de Caussade (1675-1751)
Friday, August 11, 2006
Going to the Dogs
OK, now I finally get it. The other day I saw a guy out walking (or maybe it was jogging) and he had a pooch in a stroller. How ridiculous is that. Well, apparently, not very....
Today I was reading some back clippings, stuff I'd saved for a time such as this, and I read about the doggie strollers that are like baby jogging strollers. Isn't the whole point of a dog, though, to let them get some exercise?
Continuing in this vein, there's a store in Toronto devoted to dogs, and it sells school uniforms (yes, for dogs), hoodies, tennis dresses, Hawaiian shirts and even wedding dresses. (I wonder -- if it's a same sex marriage, who gets to wear the dress??)
Lastly, there's a much bigger trend in small dogs, like Yorkies, daschunds, chihauhaus, etc. because of the travel lifestyle, and the ease of being able to carry a dog on board when it's as small as that.
Now all we need is for Al-Quaeda to figure out how to make a walking suicide bomb out of a lapdog.
Today I was reading some back clippings, stuff I'd saved for a time such as this, and I read about the doggie strollers that are like baby jogging strollers. Isn't the whole point of a dog, though, to let them get some exercise?
Continuing in this vein, there's a store in Toronto devoted to dogs, and it sells school uniforms (yes, for dogs), hoodies, tennis dresses, Hawaiian shirts and even wedding dresses. (I wonder -- if it's a same sex marriage, who gets to wear the dress??)
Lastly, there's a much bigger trend in small dogs, like Yorkies, daschunds, chihauhaus, etc. because of the travel lifestyle, and the ease of being able to carry a dog on board when it's as small as that.
Now all we need is for Al-Quaeda to figure out how to make a walking suicide bomb out of a lapdog.
On Being Inoffensive
I've just finished reading a great book on writing, by Sol Stein. His last chapter talks about the writer as shill, the one who will write inoffensive pap in order to put food on the table, or in my case to pay the orthodontic bills so that my kids will have a perfect, even set of choppers.
This leads to what I write in order to pay said doc. I write decorating stories about model homes and model suites -- those lovely little airless vignettes intended to dictate to the consumer what an interior should look like. The mantra should read like a William Morris anti-statement: I will have nothing interesting, unusual, beautiful or even remotely functional in my home.
After a year and a half of writing this mindless drivel, I can tell you pretty much that 90% of these builders don't know what it's like to live in the real world. And, incidentally, most of them are men.
You can't imagine how many pictures I get of "lovely" furniture (for the most part, cheap offshore construction, dark stain on particle board with a plastic varnish to give it the durability that will withstand the abuse the public can give out.) If you can unglue your eyes from the arresting decor for a moment, though, you'll notice all the flaws. Like electrical outlets in places they have no business being, and several of them clustered together. These little white squares are jarring on an expanse of builder beige or taupe.
Layouts: formal front living and dining rooms pay lip service to the name and function of these spaces. In reality, they look more like doctor's waiting rooms, uncomfortably crammed into the small space beside the door.
Corridors, Scarlet O'Hara staircases, double height ceilings with no sense of proportion or scale, eat up a goodly portion of these monstrous homes, so that if you parse it down to room sizes, it's clear that these subdivision homes have precious little more room than a standard three-bedroom semi in the heart of the city.
OK, that's enough for now. I will continue my rant anon.
This leads to what I write in order to pay said doc. I write decorating stories about model homes and model suites -- those lovely little airless vignettes intended to dictate to the consumer what an interior should look like. The mantra should read like a William Morris anti-statement: I will have nothing interesting, unusual, beautiful or even remotely functional in my home.
After a year and a half of writing this mindless drivel, I can tell you pretty much that 90% of these builders don't know what it's like to live in the real world. And, incidentally, most of them are men.
You can't imagine how many pictures I get of "lovely" furniture (for the most part, cheap offshore construction, dark stain on particle board with a plastic varnish to give it the durability that will withstand the abuse the public can give out.) If you can unglue your eyes from the arresting decor for a moment, though, you'll notice all the flaws. Like electrical outlets in places they have no business being, and several of them clustered together. These little white squares are jarring on an expanse of builder beige or taupe.
Layouts: formal front living and dining rooms pay lip service to the name and function of these spaces. In reality, they look more like doctor's waiting rooms, uncomfortably crammed into the small space beside the door.
Corridors, Scarlet O'Hara staircases, double height ceilings with no sense of proportion or scale, eat up a goodly portion of these monstrous homes, so that if you parse it down to room sizes, it's clear that these subdivision homes have precious little more room than a standard three-bedroom semi in the heart of the city.
OK, that's enough for now. I will continue my rant anon.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Spare Tires and all
Belinda wrote an interesting reflection today on her blog about flabbiness and eating properly, and the spiritual analogy to that.
I'd like to add that when Jesus was speaking to the Jews about daily bread, life was hard. They were hungry, so a piece of bread was a big deal. He was saying I am your daily bread.
Now, however, the tables have completely turned. We have TOO much to eat, we are flabby and overweight. I would also say that spiritually we're overweight as well -- too much puffy feeling, and not enough discipline. I know that sounds kind of harsh, and there's long been the need of a correction in the feeling department (I grew up in an age when telling your kids you love them was just not done!).
But we are so concerned that everyone gets "fed" on the heavenly bread, that we're not focusing too much on the heavenly diet and exercise program!
Belinda's reflection was so right about saying what I put in my body today, shows up in a few days or months, and likewise spiritually. But have we really broken that down to see what it means in concrete terms?
For one thing, it means obedience to God's word and will. When I let my kids do what they want, they are restless and unhappy, without moorings. When I'm too strict, they are uptight and nervous.
It also means not ingesting too much of a bad thing, so our flirtations with pop culture, no matter how much control we think we have on ourselves or our kids, can be courting disaster if not kept in check. A little junk food now and then is fine, but a steady diet of it will make you weak, not able to think clearly, and craving more.
I'd like to add that when Jesus was speaking to the Jews about daily bread, life was hard. They were hungry, so a piece of bread was a big deal. He was saying I am your daily bread.
Now, however, the tables have completely turned. We have TOO much to eat, we are flabby and overweight. I would also say that spiritually we're overweight as well -- too much puffy feeling, and not enough discipline. I know that sounds kind of harsh, and there's long been the need of a correction in the feeling department (I grew up in an age when telling your kids you love them was just not done!).
But we are so concerned that everyone gets "fed" on the heavenly bread, that we're not focusing too much on the heavenly diet and exercise program!
Belinda's reflection was so right about saying what I put in my body today, shows up in a few days or months, and likewise spiritually. But have we really broken that down to see what it means in concrete terms?
For one thing, it means obedience to God's word and will. When I let my kids do what they want, they are restless and unhappy, without moorings. When I'm too strict, they are uptight and nervous.
It also means not ingesting too much of a bad thing, so our flirtations with pop culture, no matter how much control we think we have on ourselves or our kids, can be courting disaster if not kept in check. A little junk food now and then is fine, but a steady diet of it will make you weak, not able to think clearly, and craving more.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Little Decor Tip
Came across this little tip for transforming a regular door into a French door. Not sure if the link I've posted will work.
Add the look of a pretty French door. This is a great way to give a plain interior door an intriguing treatment. Have a mirror cut to the size of the interior door panel and add muntins painted to match the door.
Add the look of a pretty French door. This is a great way to give a plain interior door an intriguing treatment. Have a mirror cut to the size of the interior door panel and add muntins painted to match the door.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
God is good
More on the niece. She caused a disturbance at a downtown church and because there wasn't her usual support group present, the clergy called the police, who then took her to the hospital. This was a good thing, a very good thing, though she is furious. The psychiatrist ran tests, both blood work and whatever psychiatric tests are necessary, and then they transferred her to the psych ward of a different hospital. While I feel sorry for her being in a panic to get out, I am so thankful that she is finally getting a) a proper assessment and b) meds and treatment.
The other thing that came of all this was the revelation that there's quite a substantial support group that she has, good people who worry about her, buy her clothes when she needs them, help her find work, listen and talk to her, and actually like and respect her. It's generally believed that she is much worse now than she was a couple of years ago, before heading to Quebec City, and that she is more aggressive. But at the same time, she feels very deep upset at not being able to care for herself in a proper adult way, and grief over not having a marriage, home, family, and so on. These things I understand.
So, I've been able to connect a couple of social workers with some people DH knows so she can get some housing help, get her into a stable living arrangment, so that she can heal partially. Oh, and the other thing -- much of her behaviour is directly related to her being high almost all the time. Likely on street drugs, like crack. As desperate and grim as all that sounds, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Until of course the next tunnel appears. But that's life. And you gotta deal.
The other thing that came of all this was the revelation that there's quite a substantial support group that she has, good people who worry about her, buy her clothes when she needs them, help her find work, listen and talk to her, and actually like and respect her. It's generally believed that she is much worse now than she was a couple of years ago, before heading to Quebec City, and that she is more aggressive. But at the same time, she feels very deep upset at not being able to care for herself in a proper adult way, and grief over not having a marriage, home, family, and so on. These things I understand.
So, I've been able to connect a couple of social workers with some people DH knows so she can get some housing help, get her into a stable living arrangment, so that she can heal partially. Oh, and the other thing -- much of her behaviour is directly related to her being high almost all the time. Likely on street drugs, like crack. As desperate and grim as all that sounds, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Until of course the next tunnel appears. But that's life. And you gotta deal.
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