to reveal or not to reveal

It's amazing how much I've distanced from my husband's whole drama, although not surprising really considering how long I've had to get used to his escapades and bad behaviour.

I can honestly say I feel no jealousy for my husband's girlfriend (whom he's been sleeping with for almost a year I also just discovered). The only thing I feel right now is revulsion for the deception and lies -- inwardly I say ick when I see him.

But a friend suggested that the girlfriend really ought to know the things I now know about. She's the single mom of a young daughter, and most likely knows nothing about his "secret" life -- after all, I've lived with him for 23 years and hadn't a clue til recently. But another friend said better leave it alone and hope that he continues in this "normal" relationship which would prevent him from reverting to the other, and wreaking havoc and damage for my children, and hope that they can carve out a relatively normal relationship as long as it doesn't get any further than superficial. Not that it's likely to be very deep, given how he refuses to deal in reality. (see his earlier reactions to their hurt ....)

So to tell, or not to tell. I guess the answer is what will help my kids the most....

Heavy stuff. Depressing stuff. I feel liberated, though, at long last.