I understand now why so many people seek vengeance under these kinds of circumstances, and it has nothing to do with punishing the other person. When you've been betrayed by someone who is supposed to love you and care for you, the anger is a useful tool for not feling the hurt so badly. In fact it can prevent you from feeling altogether because you are so busy smashing things to pieces :)
But when you don't seek revenge, through anger, the result is an overwhelming sadness and g rief over the loss and that is much more debilitating, at least for the shorter term. But ultimately, more healing comes through sadness because it is the real emotion under the anger, and it resides closer to the heart, and is consequently more human, which is the reality here.
Today I'm sad, for I have dropped my vengefulness and am feeling the loss. In 2 Corinthians, chapter 7, Paul remarks to the Corinthian church that the distress they felt over being hurt by some other segment of the church drove them to deepen their ties with God rather than strike out at those who hurt them.
When I'm sad, I am driven to Christ for solace, and it's a very good and safe to be.
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